Spark

It’s like my first winter
I’m happy and carefree
No one can bring me down
Because you keep me smiling
Just the thought of you
I am see-through

I think I like you
Not used to feeling the way I do
I think I like you
The sky has never been so blue before
I was walking in the dark
but not anymore.

No one understands me
Except when you’re around
It can’t be that crazy
How everything makes sense now
I know you feel it too
You are see-through

I think I like you
Not used to feeling the way I do
I think I like you
The sky has never been so blue before
I was walking in the dark

You were the fire to my spark
You brought my out with one simple remark

You said:
I kinda like you
No one makes me smile the way you do
I kinda like you
I am happier than I have ever been before
I was walking in the dark

But not anymore.

spark

Firefly

I was realizing today that it has been 4 months since I have been out of the dark tunnel and into the light. I thought it was about time I shared that journey, into the right kind of love, with everyone.

I am going crazyFirefly
Somebody please save me from myself
I don’t want to make the same mistakes
I want to get it right
This time.
Because you deserve better than the hurt I bring
I want to keep you smiling
Maybe it’s best you stay away from me
But that’s not what my heart is asking.
Yeah, baby I am bad news
But I guess the choice is up to you…
Oh no, I am drowning
Somebody please save me from myself.
I know I am all screwed up
I don’t want to get you caught
In my mess
It’s either you set me free
Or get locked in this cage with me
Is it really worth the chance?
Because you deserve better than the hurt I bring
I want to keep you smiling
Maybe it’s best you stay away from me
But that’s not what my heart is asking.
Yeah, baby I am bad news
But I guess the choice is up to you…
I am going crazy
Are you going to be the one to save me?
Are you the lantern glowing in the dark night?
A firefly?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This was their response:

Follow me here, there’s no need to fear
I’ll guide you through the night
And when your hope is low, don’t let it show
It’s just one small moment in time
Let that moment end tonight
I’ll be your firefly
Together we can burn bright.

Runaway Train

The first in a series of short stories inspired by Songs.

Pressing the dials on the payphone, I called her up in the middle of the night.

All was dark and quiet. I felt like a firefly without a light. She was a blowtorch always calling me to her side.

She picked up on the first ring.

“Hello?”

“It’s me.”

“Where are you? I didn’t even hear you leave…”

“I’ve just, I’m so tired I can’t even sleep. There’s so many things…” So many things I couldn’t say. I promised myself I wouldn’t weep, yet here I was crying into the receiver. Just another promise for me to break.

“What is it?”

I looked out into the silent night. Mindlessly, I fiddled with the ticket in my hand. Bending the corner in ever so slightly. It was paper-thin, and weightless, I knew. But somehow it weighed at least ten pounds in my hand. I struggled to keep ahold of it.

What was I going to say to her? What could I say? There was no one who could help me now, not even her or her sweet voice. “I’m just in too deep,” I muttered into the phone.

“What are you talking about?” Her voice was beginning to become shrill and break. Even then it was soft and smooth. A little quieter she asked, “What did you do?”

Thunder shook the black night. “I don’t want to talk about that.” Then, before she could say another word, I began. “Remember when we went to the lake? You wore that teal sequined dress and waded into the water with it still on…”

“It still smells like dirty lake water.”

I smiled. Remembering that moment always made me smile. How she ran full force into the soul-chilling, bone-freezing water. Pausing only to turn back at me, her black-blue hair slapping her in the face, to smile. I wondered if I would still remember. Remember how to smile where I was going.

How did things end up this way? I wondered. So jaded.

Thunder roared overhead and the clouds rumbled as they burst into droplet s of rain. Small and soft at first. Then they began to fall down harder and faster.

“What is this all about?”

Her question echoed in my mind. The ticket grew heavier in my grip. I was going somewhere no one else could and now I knew something no one else did. Nothing was right any more. Not cut or dried, day or night, earth or sky; none of it seemed real.

What was real was I was leaving. I couldn’t say why. I couldn’t begin to explain where.

A horn broke through the sound of rain colliding with the solid ground.

Where no one else had been. That’s where I’d be. I laughed. Laughed at the irony. The ridiculousness. I laughed at the misery. The pain. I laughed. I laughed. I laughed at the rain.

“Is this a joke?”

The horn was louder now.

The train pulled up to the station, tearing up the tracks.

“I have to go now. I’m not coming back.”

“What? Where are you going?”

I could hear the sob caught in her throat. See the tears running down her rose-petal cheeks.

“I’m sorry.” I hung up the phone.

I handed my one-way ticket to the man. I would never return. Where I was going I would never exist again. Not here. Not there. Not without her.

“Are you ready?” He asked.

I could only nod.

The train started back up. I could feel it vibrate through my veins.

I didn’t know where I would go or what I would become.

But the light of his halo calmed my thoughts as I rode the train home.

 

Passion and Desire

Your presence lingers
I can feel the tips of your fingers on my naked skin.

Your eyes burn like fire
But your love is the cool kind of sin.

You take me higher
Passion and desire
I wish I could fix you

Your scent sticks to me like glue
You’re the kind of mirror I can see through

You make everything okay
You make gray look like the color blue

You take me higher
Passion and desire
I wish I could fix you

Life hasn’t been fair to you
I can change it, if you want me to

We can turn the world upside-down
Who cares if we shake the ground?
I think change is what we need right now

You take me higher
Passion and desire
Let’s fly higher
I wish I could fix you

I Don’t Want To Be A Sinner

I didn’t mean to make a mess of things,
I guess neither did you
But you and I are both sinners
And we just do as sinners do

We lust, we lie, we cheat, that’s life
We loved, we lost, now it’s time to say goodbye.

I don’t want to be a sinner
But Lord knows I ain’t a saint
Neither of us is the winner,
Because neither of us could think
I don’t want to be a sinner
But I guess that’s what I am
Neither of us is the winner
Because you and I are both damned.

I didn’t mean to ruin your life
I guess I am just a whore
Because instead of going to the light
I followed you into the dark

I didn’t mean to fall in love
I guess you might say the same
But neither of us could stay away
Now we’re both to blame

We lust, we lie, we cheat, that’s life
We loved, we lost, now it’s time to say goodbye.

I don’t want to be a sinner
But Lord knows I ain’t a saint
Neither of us is the winner,
Because neither of us could think
I don’t want to be a sinner
But I guess that’s what I am
Neither of us is the winner
Because you and I are both damned.

I didn’t mean to make a mess of things
I didn’t mean to start a war
I didn’t mean to ask for so much
But I was greedy, I wanted more

I don’t want to be a sinner
But Lord knows I ain’t a saint
Because when he tested my faith,
I threw it all a way
I don’t want to be a sinner
But I know that’s what I am
Because when I’m kissing you,
I know I am damned.

Everything

Also close to the rainy season, 40 degrees and...

It’s a new day
You’re still you
And you’re still a mystery to me
I can’t read into you.

It’s a new day
It’s the same me
But I’m feeling a bit differently
I’m wondering, I’m doubting
How you feel about me…

It’s the twinkle in your eyes
The way your heart races against mine
The fire burning inside of you…
You’re the sunshine in a black sky
The air I need to breathe or I die
You’re the water I drink
You’re everything I need…
So what am I to you?

It’s still the same kiss
Still the same hug
The electricity is not gone
And I ravish in your warmth.

It’s still the same love
And it’s growing
But I don’t know if you feel what I’m feeling
But it’s so amazing…
Then I, I wonder, what am I to you?

It’s the twinkle in your eyes
The way your heart races against mine
The fire burning inside of you…
You’re the sunshine in a black sky
The air I need to breathe or I die
You’re the water I drink
You’re everything I need…
So what am I to you?

Am I the color blue in your sky
The medicine you take?
Do I make you feel alive
Or am I just another mistake?

It’s the way you smile at me
The sound of you breath when you’re falling asleep
It’s the way you shine…
You’re a midnight sunrise
The unpredictable tide
You’re the rain pouring down on me
You’re everything I need.

So what am I to you?
What am I to you?
What am I to you?
What am I to you?

It’s the twinkle in you eyes
You’re the sun in a black sky
It’s the fire burning inside of you…
You’re the air I breathe or I die
The way you’re heart races against mine
You’re the water I drink
You’re everything to me.

River

When you kiss my lips
When you touch my skin
There is nothing like the rush of your current
When your hand’s in mine
And our hearts are ignited
I can do anything

Don’t you feel it too?
The energy that flows through

You’re my river
In a valley of dry land
You’re my river
Won’t you let me in?

When I see your face
When you say my name
I can’t help it, I can’t breathe!
Cause when you’re around
I lose control
And suddenly I can’t speak

Don’t you feel it too?
The energy that flows through

You’re my river
In a valley of dry land
You’re my river
Won’t you let me

Inside of your life
Cause you’re the sunlight
Shining in the night sky.
I don’t want to go back
To where I was before I met you.

Don’t you feel it too?
The energy that flows through me and you

You’re my river
In a valley of dry land
You’re my river
Won’t you let me in?
Won’t you let me in?
Let me in…

When I see your eyes
It begins again…