Wildest Dreams- Drive

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When I asked where we were going, Mr. Prent replied, “Let’s get out of this town; drive out of the city, just… get away from these crowds of students and teachers…” And witnesses.

“I like the sound of that.”

So we went on a long drive. No destination in sight. Maybe Mr. Prent got the feeling too. He has somewhere- he didn’t know where yet, that he had to go.

I must have fallen asleep at some point, because I woke in the passenger seat, but Mr. Prent was laying in the bed of his truck, staring into the stars. I climbed out, realizing we were in a cemetery. Of all places to go, I wondered, why there?

Not that I cared. I am the picnic in the cemetery kind of gal. But she strongly advised against it- like everything else- and suggested I find more “appropriate” interests.

I wonder if she would have found this appropriate.

I didn’t say anything. Mr. Prent just looked so far away; deep in some other world. Instead, I laid there next to him. The cool metal sent chills up my spine and I shivered in the warm autumn night. Wordlessly, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders and I layed my head on his chest. His cologne reminded me of a cool ocean breeze that swallows you whole… his scent is still in my hair.

I’m not sure how long we laid like that for. I started off counting seconds in his heartbeats. One, two, three, fo-ur, fivesix, seven, eight, nine, tah-en. But doing that only made me sleepy. I didn’t want to sleep. I wanted to hold this moment in the now and have it last forever.

I should know better than anyone, nothing lasts forever. Especially not happiness. I was happy once-upon-a-time. When I had parents- real ones- but it was so long ago it feels like a dream. Or a nightmare.

I guess he knows about this too. It was the cemetery where both his father and brother were buried. A robbery gone wrong. Mr. Prent was in college. His mother was grocery shopping. To come home and see her son and husband askew on the kitchen floor. I could just imagine her walking into the house, wondering why the door was already open. She’s talking to them- not knowing they can’t hear- going on about a great special she got at the market. Then she sees them. The blood. And bags fall out of her hands in slow-motion… It’s all a little too familiar.


A passage of Wildest Dreams & a picture It & Write inspiration!

Wildest Dreams- Hunted: A Poem

haunted
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Dark clouds in my head

Rain cascades over my ribs

Salty and acidic

Eroding my bones

I am broken

Haunted

And so far gone lost.


I thought this would be a good poem for Wildest Dreams. A little side project I am working on. Read part of it here, a picture-it & write inspiration!

What It Took To Realize- Chapter Three

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“What?” I cried.

“New York City! For the weekend! Aren’t you excited?” She began to bounce up and down.

“Why?” I asked.

“Well, I’ve got a few jobs there this weekend, and there’s this big party tomorrow night…” She slowly trailed off.

I shook my head. “Tupaia,” I whined. “You know I don’t do parties. The last time I went, everyone laughed at me.” The thought of it pushed tears up through the back of my eyes. I couldn’t dance, and when I tried I hit someone in the face. Everyone stared at me, leering, laughing, and pointing. As if that wasn’t enough, they started making fun of the way I looked, the way I was dressed. My ribs began to suffocate my heart, which began to beat wildly trying to escape like a caged bird.

She jumped over my luggage and wrapped her arms around me. “I know, but it’ll be different this time. You don’t have to dance, and it’s a masquerade ball! Masks; no one will even know it’s you!”

Doubt gripped my throat. I continued to shake my head.

“I promise you, it won’t be like last time.” Her sapphire eyes pleaded with me. They were soft, childish, and naive; even though Tupaia was older than a few eras.

I nodded.

She squealed, jumping with me still wrapped in her arms.

This is going to be a disaster.

 

*

We arrived in New York City around noon the next day. As soon as we arrived in the “Big Apple” we dumped our luggage in our hotel suite. The suite was four rooms big and lavished in all shades pink. Light screens hung at the windows which presented us with a front-row view to time square. The streets were busy with buses and taxis. With people on foot or bikes. The buildings reached endlessly at the sky where music videos and ads played on them. The bedrooms were just as big and elegant as the rest of the suite. My bed was all round and covered in equally circular, silky blankets and pillows.

After ditching our luggage we fled to get ready for the ball. Tupaia wore a long elegant sapphire gown that complimented her soft defined curves and matched her eyes. Her wavy brown hair was wrapped up in a bun, and she wore a peacock feathered mask upon her face. She was stunning, as usual.

Tupaia had “her people” dress me in an emerald mermaid dress with a blue sequined mask that almost looked like scales, and my red hair flowed down my back. They all gasped, exclaiming, “She looks like Ariel!”

I grimaced. I was always jealous of Ariel; she had a father, loving sisters, and married her prince charming. She was beautiful and everyone loved her. She was everything I wished I could be.

Tupaia grabbed my hand, “You look like a model.”

I snorted.

*

As soon as we entered the facility where the party was being held, Tupaia went on her way to make a good impression with various modeling agencies and photographers. I went to the back of the club, where I sat alone for most of the night. The club was dark and gray. People were scattered everywhere dancing with strangers, mingling by the bar with blue lights and drinks in their hands. I was out of place.

I was surprised when the song, “Voodoo” blared through the speakers since I hadn’t heard it until a few days ago. But that was not the weirdest part of the night. No, the unusual thing was after the song had just ended, when a hand was held out in front of me. “Dance with me.” I looked up at a boy dressed all in black, with a black hat which covered his hair and a black mask covering most of his face, but his sunray eyes, curvy mouth, and soft chin.

I looked around for someone else that he could be talking to.

“Please.”

I looked up into his golden eyes, and for some reason I could not say no. I took his hand in mine and let him lead me out into the middle of the dance floor. “Resistance” by Muse began to pound through the speakers. He pulled me close against his soft chest. “Follow my lead,” he whispered into my ear. His voice was a little higher pitched than I imagined, but still comforting somehow. My heart threatened to break through my chest as he began to glide us across the dance floor. The lead singer’s voice sang into my ear “Is our secret safe tonight and are we out of sight?” The tempo began to pick up, as he twirled me around, and around. Everything became blurry, but his golden eyes that my gaze had become fixed on.

“You’re beautiful,” he breathed into my mouth.

I lost my breath. As the words, “Love is our resistance. They’ll keep us apart and they won’t to stop breaking us down. Hold me, our lips must always be sealed,” poured from the speakers our lips began to draw close to each other, like negative and positive attraction between magnets. When our lips were practically grazing, he drew away to lift me above him, and spin me in the air. He slowly brought me down as the song drew to an end and another song began. Our eyes were locked into one another’s, and for that moment, the world had faded away.

I heard the light sound of someone clapping, and I was pulled out of the spell I was under. I looked around to see that people had gathered and began to clap. They smiled and pointed, whispering to their friends. I fell back through memories, and all of a sudden I was at my last party, where everyone was laughing at me. I had to get away.

I pushed past the mystery boy’s shoulder, a wave of his vanilla scent followed after me along with his cry, “Wait!”

I sprinted through the doors and into the brisk NYC’s February air. The sidewalks were lined with slush, and the roads were busy with taxis, but I didn’t care as I ran across the streets, through the slush, while cars honked at me. I could hear his voice distantly crying, “Where are you going?”

I didn’t, I couldn’t stop until I was in my hotel suite. I flung myself onto the king’s size bed and cried myself to sleep.

*

In the morning, I woke to Tupaia sitting on the edge of the bed, stroking my hair. “I heard about what happened last night,” she said. “Everyone thought you and that boy were fantastic!”

I buried my face into the silky pillow.

“So why’d you run out?”

A tear burned its way through my right eye. “They were all lookin’ at me…”

“They thought you were amazing, Morgan!” She exclaimed.

I tore my face from the pillow, and looked up at her. Her hair fell over her shoulders like a waterfall, and in her silver silk pajamas, she looked like a goddess. “There was somethin’ about him,” I told her, “that made me forget everyone was there.”

She smiled, and her eyes grew distant. “I’ve felt like that before.” I wondered when. Tupaia hardly ever talked about what her life was like before she took me in. “It must be love,” she said at last.

I fell into the pillow. Love? With a guy I don’t know? I didn’t even know his name, how could I love him? And what about Leroy? I stared at Tupaia contemplating how it would be possible to love someone you only met once. “I’ll probably never see him again,” I sighed.

Tupaia laid down next to me, and held me in her arms like she use to do when I was young. “You never know. Things have a funny way of working themselves out.”

*

I bummed around the suite watching re-runs of H2O, my favorite TV show, while Tupaia went to her modeling jobs. I watched, for about the millionth time as three girls, unlikely to become so close, had no choice after they are transformed into mermaids with powers over water. I fantasized that I was one of those girls, instead of who I was. I didn’t even have powers.

I imagined how great it would be if my life were like the TV show. Being surrounded by friends who knew and accepted my secret, being able to lean on them when things were tough… Would I ever gain friends like that? I wondered. Doubtful.

That afternoon I drove the thirteen and a half hour drive back to Folly alone. Tupaia had scored more modeling jobs in the city from the ball Saturday night, so I decided to go home on my own to get ready for school the next day. The white lines on the thru-way melted away. All I could see was the mystery boy’s golden eyes. The whole way home, I smelled vanilla. I’ll never see him again.

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Thank you for reading <3

A New Way To Keep My Sanity

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I hadn’t read a book in so long I forgot why I love reading them (and just as importantly, writing them!). It’s about losing yourself in another world, a different time, someone else’s inside, messed-up life. It’s about leaping into the rabbit hole.

My reading cycle slowly began to sputter back to life over the Christmas Holiday when I picked up David Levithan’s Every Day. The book called to me from the display of a second floor Barnes & Noble. It was a gravitational pull that lead me to “What Teens Are Reading”. There was something about this paperback. The pale yellow cover or the lettering. All I knew is I had to have it. Like a sponge; I soaked half of this book up in a comfy oversized arm chair in the lounge part of the Pittsford Barnes & Noble. The mere idea of this character- someone who woke up in a new body everyday, was interesting, but it was the objective thoughts on racism, genderism, and love that had me so intrigued. The was a subtle message that was so well placed, so well said, I finished the book in awe. It was a moment where you step back, begin a slow-clap, and tip your hat saying, “Well done.”

Since that book I had been hungry for something more. Some other book to blow my mind.

While I have a few in progress, I really hadn’t found the one that would kick-start my book frenzy. Until, of course, Splinter.

Again, I’m at Barnes & Nobles, wandering through the Teen section when it catches my eye. The glowing green vines that frame the cover, blond hair shaping her small face as her big blue eye makes contact with mine.

I’ve seen this cover before.

I pick up the book and as I suspect, I had seen it on Nathalia Sullen’s website when I was checking her out as a potential cover designer for What It Took To Realize & Voodoo. This was one of the covers that made me send that initial email.

I buy it. The second one too.

And finally, I have found the book I’ve been looking for. The one to ignite that little flame in the back of my brain that flickers as it chants: Must read. Must read.

Then it all clicks. Reading. The solution to my pressing anxiety and headaches of frustration and unhappiness that cloak me at work. Read.

Now, when I tell you I have books spread out everywhere, I do mean everywhere. From Real Mermaids Don’t Wear Toe Rings in the bathroom (you know… for bathroom-ly things…), to A Blue So Dark in the livingroom, Splintered at the bedside, and Coyote Blue by the hilarious Christopher Moore propped open next to my computer at work for some sly entertainment.

Am I #reading Coyote Blue? Or is this part of my #decor? The world may never know!

A photo posted by Mercedes Guy (@authormercedes) on

Maybe books are consuming my life… Or maybe they’re just the thing I need right now to keep my sanity through my own rollercoaster.

The Cycle

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Wind down
After a long week
Hours slip by
One, two, three
I never see you
[Only in my dreams]
And the kisses are few
Far in between
I want time to stand still
With me in your arms
Let’s forget about the daily grind
Or jobs and our chores
I want to stay in this moment we call the weekend
Before my eyes close
Because when I blink the moment ends
And I’ll have to face what I already know
We’re doomed to repeat the cycle
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
I can’t even remember how to smile
[On the inside]
So let’s just stay here
In our Saturday
And break the cycle now
No more heartache
I just want to hold your hand
No more pain
I just miss my best friend

What It Took To Realize- Chapter Two

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CHAPTER 2

I looked down at the mermaid child in my arms. She laughed a sweet, light sound. Then she let out a whimper. Her fangs grew from her toothless mouth, and she pushed them into my neck.

I woke up, my hand where her fangs had pressed against my skin. I felt nothing. I flung my sea foam comforter off and swung my legs over the edge of my bed. It was Friday. I walked over to my full length mirror and grimaced at the red head staring back at me. Her hair was matted to her head, and her mouth was crooked.

I could hear Ginger whispering, “Freak,” into my ear.

I walked out of my room.

*

I sat in my Impala once I arrived to school, since I still had ten minutes until they unlocked the doors. I stared deep into my vanilla bean coffee. I swirled the liquid around slowly in my Styrofoam cup and watched the liquid form a weak hurricane. The coffee began to morph into something new. I continued to twirl the cup in my hand and as it began to take shape, someone opened the passenger door.

I jumped.

Leroy flashed an apologetic smile. “Did I scare you?”

I shrugged.

He flopped down into the seat next to me, and shut the door. “Do you always wait out here alone?”

“No.”

His smile never faltered. “It’s Friday, you know.”

“How could I forget?” How would anyone forget if they had a date with the most popular guy in school?

“Are we still on for our date?”

I went to look into his eyes, but they were guarded by thick black lenses, as usual. He wore a blood-red polo, collar popped, dark jeans and sneakers. His hair laid like a shaggy dog on his head, and for a second I couldn’t see the appeal to him. What made him so desirable? He took off his sunglasses, revealing his almond brown eyes. His smile grew so that his teeth, or should I say fangs, showed. “You’re not backin’ out are you?”

I found myself momentarily lost in the depth of his creamy eyes. “No,” I replied. “’Course not.”

His eyes began to glow an orange-brown, before he masked them with his shades again.

He got out of the car, walked around, and opened up my door. “C’mon cutie, they’re about to open the doors.”

My face grew hot.

I was thankful that Ginger wasn’t in school that day. Her and her mindless drones were off at some Cheer competition or something. If she was there, there was no way I’d be able to escape her wrath. She probably would have had my head if she knew Leroy and I were going on a date. Friday I was safe, but I knew I would not be so lucky again.

When I got home, I was bombarded by Tupaia. She grabbed my hand rushing me into the kitchen, where she pushed me onto one of the stainless steel stools while she quickly made us a snack. “Why are you acting so weird?” I was almost afraid of what she’d say.

Her blue eyes were bulging out of her head and she was mumbling like a crazy person. “There’s hardly enough time…”

She tossed me a plate of salad and as I poured salt over every inch of green, I gathered up the courage to ask, “What are you talkin’ about?”

She looked at me like I was the one who had completely lost her mind. “We have to get you ready for your date.”

I tossed a glance at the clock. “Tupaia, it’s only three-thirty. We have two and a half hours!”

“Yeah. Only two and a half hours. I’m not sure that we’ll have enough time…”

I sighed and finished my salad. I tossed my dishes in the sink and headed towards the back door. “Where are you goin’?”

I had never seen Tupaia this way; it was beginning to scare me. “To go swimmin’?”

She let out a high-pitched chuckle and I was sure she’d gone nuts. “Yeah right! You need to go shower so we can get you ready.”

“But…” I began and finished, I need to talk to Ron, in my head.

“Go shower,” she called from the closet. I didn’t bother to tell her I had already taken a shower that morning.

I sighed and had no choice but to obey, because frankly she was starting to scare me out of my skin. I’d have to wait to talk to Ron when I got home. I dragged my legs up the stairs and started the water for my shower.

Afterwards I wrapped myself into a towel and headed into my room. There was someone sitting on the edge of my bed. I screamed, only to realize that it was just Tupaia. I calmed down a little bit, but only a little, remembering how completely crazy she’d gone. I narrowed my eyes at her. “What are you doin’?”

“The next step is your outfit, because we have to let your hair dry. Modeling has prepared me for this moment.” I rolled my eyes and handed myself over to her. She had a whole new wardrobe laid out on my bed. It looked like she had bought the whole store.  I let her dress me up, down, and up, trying outfit after outfit as if I was a Barbie doll. Finally, she picked. Then, not having any time to see what the outfit looked like on me, Tupaia went straight to my hair. She curled my hair, did my make-up (only under the conditions that she wouldn’t powder my face or use lipstick), and she painted my nails black.

“Why black?” I asked.

“He won’t notice if black changes its shades, because it is a shade,” she said while deeply concentrating on perfecting my nails. I just sat nodding my head. “Finally,” she squealed. “You’re done!”

I got up to look at myself in the mirror. I gasped at how I almost looked normal. My hair curled perfectly around my face, the blue laced blouse fit perfectly on my body. For that moment, I was just a normal girl going on a normal date. My eyes began to tear before I could stop them. I turned to Tupaia and hugged her tightly. “Thank you.”

The bell rang.

She held me out in front of her and dabbed my tears with a tissue. “You’re welcome, beautiful.” We hugged each other tight, and when I pulled away she smiled crookedly at me. “Now stop cryin’ or you’ll ruin your make-up.” She kissed my cheek. “I’ll go answer the door.”

I turned back towards the mirror, trying to remember that moment. Remember how happy I felt and looked. I turned from my reflection in the mirror and began down the stairs. Leroy was at the front door, wearing a black buttoned-down shirt that showed his well-shaped muscles. His sunglasses hung in the V of his top.

Leroy waltzed over to me, taking my hand. He put his palm on the small of my back and whispered into my ear, “You look beautiful, Morgan.”

I felt my face turn scarlet and worried about my hair. If anything happened, he didn’t seem to notice. Instead he leaned down and kissed my cheek. His lips were soft and cool on my burning skin.

Tupaia bounced towards us with a hat, fashion scarf, and a pair of black flats in her hands. “Here you go,” she said dropping the flats by my feet and putting the hat on my head.

I took the scarf and wrapped it around my neck. “Thank you,” I said as I slipped on the shoes and gave her a hug.

“Y’all have fun,” she called as Leroy led me out to his car. “And don’t be out too late!”

“We won’t!” I called back. I climbed into Leroy’s black Lamborghini asking, “Will we?”

He smiled at me, a smile so gorgeous that it made me sick. “’Course not. We’re just goin’ out to dinner.”

I didn’t go out much, so I wasn’t sure what to expect. It felt like we had only been in the car for a minute when we pulled into a local restaurant. I was interested as to what it would be like. “What kind of food do they have there?” I asked, trying to figure out what to order, before even seeing the menu.

He laughed. “Good food.”

I glared at him. He just chuckled, shaking his head as he got out of the car. Before I could even take my seatbelt off, he was opening the door for me. I smiled as a thank you, thinking, I’m going to have to get use to that.

He held me real close against his hard chest until we were seated at a dark wooden table with a window view. Leroy pulled out my tweed chair for me, with white crabs dancing on the blue backs. After we were both seated, the waiter asked what we wanted to drink. “I’ll just have water,” I said. Leroy raised his brows then asked for the same. I gazed out the window towards the dock. The tide drew in, then out, as if the ocean was breathing. I longed to be inside of it, be a part of its mystery, but I promised Tupaia a long time ago that I wouldn’t go in the sea. There was always a possibility that it would take hold of me for all of eternity.

Leroy squeezed my hand and his deep brown eyes gazed at me. “I’m glad you came with me tonight,” he said.

I snapped back to attention and nodded my head. I was trying to keep myself from saying too much, but ultimately was keeping myself from saying anything at all. “Me too.”

“I wasn’t sure that you’d come.”

I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat. “I almost didn’t,” I confessed mentally kicking myself.

“Why not?”

“I’m the school’s biggest freak and you’re the school’s best looking guy. I’m still convinced that there’s a loophole somewhere.” I couldn’t believe that I was actually telling him some of my deepest thoughts.

He chuckled sweetly and kissed my hand. “There’s no loophole, sweetheart. I simply thought that you were amazingly cute and had to ask you out before someone else did.”

I snorted. It was the first date I had ever been on and I was positive that I wouldn’t have had one at all if it weren’t for him. I still didn’t know if I could believe that he really liked me, but I had no reason not to. I knew that it was time to “loosen up” as Tupaia had said.

“May I take your order?” The waiter asked.

“Oh, I haven’t looked at the menu yet!” I gasped.

Leroy kept his eyes on mine. Smiling he told the waiter, “She will have the Grilled Pineapple soup and I‘ll have the Grilled Hanger Steak, rare.”

Once the waiter was finally gone, Leroy leaned over the table and kissed my lips. I sighed at the wonderful feeling of being liked by someone who was neither family nor fish. He let go of my hand, got up, kissed my cheek, and headed for the bathroom.

Thirst shook my body at its core and took over from not being in my pool all day. So while he was gone, I poured salt into my water and gulped it down. The taste was sweet in my mouth, but it didn‘t dissolve my thirst. Before I knew what I was doing, I poured salt into Leroy’s water and downed it just before he returned. I still had a few seconds to spare, and peered around the rest of the restaurant. Most of the tables were filled with tourists, even though it was only February. They must have been from far up north where there was still snow on the ground, because down in South Carolina it was already sixty degrees. The place was hot, despite the temperature dropping outside, and it smelled of cooked fish. The smell made me sick. This is why I don’t go out, I reminded myself. I couldn’t stand the thought of people eating my fish friends.

When Leroy returned from the bathroom, he sat down, saw the two empty water glasses and raised his eyebrows at me. I grew embarrassed, looked down, and sat on my hands out of habit. Then I remembered my nails were black so they wouldn’t be changing colors. I placed my hands awkwardly back onto the table and bit my lip instead. He took my hand and the confession spilled out of my mouth, “I just got real thirsty. I drink a lot of water, I can’t help it. It’s like genetic… or somethin’…”

He kissed the back of my hand, smiling. He said, I think more to him than me, “So cute.” It wasn’t fair that such a simple word made me blush like I had never blushed before. He looked into my eyes; his were so bright that they were almost a golden color. He reached out to me with his other hand and stroked my cheek. “I’m so grateful that you came with me. Next time we’ll go where ever you want.”

“Next time?” I never thought of the possibility of another date. I never even considered the idea of him wanting to go out with me again. Does this mean we’re going to end up being boyfriend and girlfriend?

His eyes faltered for a moment, deciding on a light, creamy brown. His smile grew as he said, “Well, that is, only if you want to.” He kept looking at me and begging me with his eyes; which were growing progressively darker.

The waiter stopped by and handed us our dinner. He saw the empty glasses and asked, “Would you like any more to drink?”

“Please,” I answered, a little too eager. He took the empty glasses, leaving me with Leroy and his darkening eyes. I took a sip of my soup, the taste exploded on my tongue, tangy and exotic. I took another spoon full and hummed. It was like nothing I had ever tried before. “You know, since you ordered for me so well, I wouldn’t mind if you ordered for me again next time.”

His eyes lit up and glowed their normal creamy brown. “I hoped you’d say that.” It was then I realized that his eyes changed with his mood, just like my hair and nails. Must be a mystical creature thing, I figured. His sunglasses suddenly made sense. I realized that he wore them for the same reason that I wore hoods, or hats, and why Tupaia had painted my nails: exposure. He didn’t want any one realizing that he wasn’t quite as normal as everyone thought he was.

Finally the date began to pick up as we asked one another questions, unraveling our pasts and truly getting to know one another. He asked me about Tupaia. Is she your mom? What does she do for a living? Then when I clarified that Tupaia was just my guardian he began to ask about my real parents. When I explained I didn’t feel comfortable talking about my real parents he gracefully switched the spotlight off of me and onto him. Although, I doubted that most of it was completely true because I knew that he must have been a vampire for at least a few decades.

“My parents died in a house fire when I was five,” he told me. “Afterwards I was sent to an orphanage where I was lucky enough to have gotten adopted by my current step-father.” He looked off for a moment before saying, “He made me who I am today…” A vampire? Leroy told me about how he owned a business out of town and planned to skip college and focus on further promoting his business. I would widen my eyes and nod my head enthusiastically so that he thought I actually believed him. Truth was I kind of did.

Leroy dropped me off at nine-thirty. “It’s not too late, is it?” He asked me as we walked up the stairs to the porch.

I shook my head, “It’s still before midnight. I’m sure we’re okay.”

He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to his chest. I shivered against his cool body. “That’s good,” he breathed. “I had a great time with you tonight…”

“Me too.” A breath caught in my throat. He leaned down and kissed me; his lips, which were as hard as steel, melted against mine.

He rested a hand on my cheek, “Goodnight.” Then he ran to the car and drove off.

“Goodnight,” I whispered to the empty space where he used to be. Left with the feel of his lips on mine, I ran upstairs to my room to fall asleep, but Tupaia had filled the hallway with bags.

“We’re goin’ to New York City for the weekend!”

~~~~~~

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Thank you for reading <3